AlcoholEdu
Like many young college students attending fairly liberal-majority colleges, I have been ordered to take an online "course" entitled AlcoholEdu (so named because "edu" is cool and hip, while "education" is, like, totally passé). Needless to say, this has been hell.
One of my favorite aspects of this "course" is its inconsistency. In Chapter 2 they tell you "Alcohol and other drugs don't mix." In Chapter 3; "Mixing alcohol and other drugs is dangerous." Looks like they do mix, and since it's dangerous it must be fun. Whoops! Thanks for sending the wrong message.
In Chapter 2, I tested out of one section entitled "What's Going On in the Brain?" because I correctly answered some questions relating to the functions of specific parts of the brain and alcohol's effects on them. Having skipped this section, I proceded to a "What Did You Learn About Learning?" section about the exact same material. Similarly, I elected NOT to opt out of the section on fermentation/distillation (because this is, as you know, a topic of great interest to me) and instead of learning how alcohol is created I was told that "Alcohol is fermented, and hard liquor is distilled" and shown 10+ slides covering the exact same material from Chapter 1.
The best mixed messages come from the section on Blackouts. First we see a warning on how during a blackout you are unable to form new memories and can be seriously hurt accompanied by a picture of seven attractive college students smiling and laughing and holding beers. The slide immediately following this reads "blackouts are very dangerous" and features a photograph of a black man standing there facing the camera smiling. Let's not continue.
90% on the Pre-Exam. 95% on the Ch1-3 Exam. I was disappointed that they didn't cover what I wanted them to. Aldehyde Dehydrogenase, nigga. Fo' sho. Yeah, I'll stop.
You know you have a problem when you spend over an hour and a half reading letters from the Memoirs of Aaron Burr. Biggest dickhead in history, but damn, he's interesting. I'll write a screenplay about him. In the words of the old man in the NYC music shop: "Fuckin' Aaron Burr, man!"
