Sean's List of Grievances

With the departure from Xanga of our beloved John Koch, I am inspired to reform my own mindless ramblings and start making sense. Unfortunately, I do not feel up to the challenge tonight, as I have not yet taped my oral commentary (In itself a monumental task; when have I ever spoken for 12 straight minutes about anything, let alone the literary devices of a Shakespearian work?). Instead I will leave a list of assorted crap about which I feel quite strongly and about which you probably don't give a donkey's pancreas.

1) wuauclt.exe

Windows Update. Two words that make young children tremble in fear, provided they've heard of it, as few apparently have. To those who don't use it, I can only express my sympathy. To those who do use it, see above. How can it be that an establishment so vital to the perceived security of our Windows machines can be so obnoxious? It's impossible to download the latest updates (now fewer and farther-between) without being badgered about such things as "enabling automatic updates" and "installing Service Pack 2". This is quite funny for two reasons: despite my having automatic updates disabled I still have to close two instances of wuauclt.exe every time I boot up my machine; and Service Pack 2, along with several other updates classified as "high-priority", make my computer go bork.
This leads right into my second complaint...

2) Windows XP Service Pack 2

The situation: I had a problem about a full year ago that disabled my wireless access to the vast conglomeration of computers around the world, commonly-referred-to as the "Internet". I requested help and was instructed to download/install their "Service Pack 2". This put me in quite a pickle, since I had no way to download SP2 without Internet access. Eventually I found a way around this rather large pickle by exploiting a nifty little exploit and connecting and installing it, only to find that my situation had not improved. In fact, I was worse off than before. You see, Service Pack 2 fixed the hole I was exploiting, thereby preventing me from accessing the Internet. One uninstall and a System Restore later, I was back to my original hole-through-the-pickle configuration.

3) ZoneAlarm Firewall

Disabled my Internet access and caused the Service Pack 2 situation.

4) My Computer in General

A few weekends ago my laptop decided to rebel against authority 1848-style by killing my wireless card. Over the past week is has taken more extreme measures: corrupting a few beloved files of mine and instilling a chaotic atmosphere about the place. Just today I found myself forced to reconcile with a war-torn Firefox that was but a shadow of its former self. My laptop is approaching its 4th bithday, and whether this trouble is because it's at the apex of its "rebellious youth" phase, or because it's skipped its nonconformist years and is bordering on senility, I cannot be certain.

5) Communism

It doesn't work. Those who pursue it are pursuing the impossible, which does nothing but waste valuable resources that could be better spent elsewhere.

6) France

She's the "natural enemy" of America, Germany, and Texas.

7) People Who Walk Slowly/Stand Side-By-Side and Block the Hallway

The distance between Points A and B is Line AB, but the time taken to traverse this line is variable. When there is a serious limit as to the amount of time needed, this variable's optimum range is not always possible to achieve. In other words: I need to get from here to there and if your slum-arse is in the way, I hate you.

8) People Who Stand in Doorways and Talk.

See above. If this is you, please make an effort to shift your position 3 feet to the side and talk in the hall. As long as you don't then become a Person Who Walks Slowly/Stands Side-By-Side And Blocks the Hallway, I have no beefs with you.

9) Attention Whores

Please die. Now. Unless you're hot and interested. Then leave me your number.

10) English Taped Oral Commentaries

Need I say more? Evidently. Twelve minutes more.

Thus concludes my tirade against that which pisses me off. Until next time, good night and good riddance.